Sawdust

Last Monday at approximately 10 a.m. the New York Administration for Children and Family Services were surprised to find a furry, disoriented five-year-old digging through the trash outside a school for cookies and singing the alphabet to himself.

Love them or hate them, reality shows are becoming a tent pole of American television. The growing presence of reality programming is what inspired veteran producer, Lance Roan, to develop his revolutionary new show, That’s F***ked Up: Battle for America’s New Obsession. The show will be a competition, but instead of seeing which contestant can stuff the most cockroaches down his or her pants or which prostitute has the nicest singing voice it will be to determine which producer can create the most morally depraved reality show

The Park School of Communications loves to hire professors that are professionals in their field — former or current editors, reporters, producers or even business execs — which, in theory, is a great idea. Professionals teaching their craft? What could go wrong?

The World’s top leaders were called into an emergency meeting early last week to assess an issue that has become a matter of global concern: Dane Cook’s existence.

Hey guys! Adit Balaji here, just checking in with you all from sunny Nepal. The Himalayas are beautiful this time of year, I gotta tell you.

Iphone users are coming out in droves to complain about the phones new information app, Siri. Specifically, that it is becoming more and more apparent that the service is a staunch supporter of Republican presidential candidate, Ron Paul. Apple Inc. CEO Tim Cook has stated many times that Siri is not sentient and therefore unable to have feelings about a candidate.

Sources have reported that American archaeologist, Adam Cain, has discovered the lost Garden of Eden within the compost piles of the Lâches des Mamelons nudist colony in Monaco.

President seeks to emulate game’s never-ending supply of goods Along with freaking out over gay marriage and contraception, right-wing Republicans have expressed outrage over Obama’s…

After being particularly blown away by Beauty and the Beast in 3-D, President Obama appointed Disney CEO Bob Iger as Czar of American Idealism in order to maximize national happiness and make America a better place.

Dian Sieto, manager of the largest Nike sweatshop in northern Indonesia, recently announced to his workers his new plan to boost company morale: playing Smash Mouth’s 90’s hit “All Star.”