Sawdust

Shocking Excerpts Unearthed From U.S. Military’s Past By Anne Northgraves With the recent repeal of the U.S. military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, a lot…

By  Samantha Towle Last Friday, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates announced the government’s plans to introduce military recruitment centers to the world of Blizzard Entertainment’s…

Late Thursday evening, Bert L. Ood of the vampiric community was discovered dead, again, by his roommates. In his undead state of living, Ood was…

Ithaca College wants a new mascot named “Bomber,” but it can’t have anything to do with bombing If you haven’t already heard, Ithaca College is now holding a contest seeking suggestions from the IC community to introduce a new mascot to…

“We will not back down, America has spoken,” say Republicans. By Mike McCabe In a recent act of defiance to cooperate with the Democrats, Sen.…

Says Mind is Made Up, She’s Putting Away the Makeup By Mariana Garces After more than 30 years of leading a risqué, scandalous lifestyle, Roxanne…

Body Fat Percentage Falling Dangerously Below Obesity Levels By Catherine Fisher Fifty-four red-faced Santas petitioned outside the Freehold Mall on Monday to remove Karl Clyne…

Extended Game of Kings Ruins Uptight Student’s Night By Alex Palombo As a group of inebriated college students tried to look on, sophomore and confirmed…

By Jenni Zellner In today’s society, Internet usage has become an overwhelming epidemic. If it weren’t enough that people find it necessary to post every…