Firing Dozens of Female Workers and Replacing them with She-Bots, Because Diversity Matters!
One of the biggest financial companies in the country, Wells Fargo, has announced its ground-breaking new approach to inclusivity and intersectionality in the office. After getting rid of 18 women on their trading floor, the CEO of Wells Fargo, Charles W. Scharf, announced that he has been in the process of replacing them with female and “other” identifying robots.
Wells Fargo has stated that after firing their real female staff, they have started introducing “She-Bots,” a revolutionary army of diverse female-identified robots. According to Scharf, their first new hires have included a nonbinary lesbian robot, a Hispanic robot, and a disabled robot. When asked how a robot could “be physically impaired”, Scharf simply wheeled in a robot placed on top of a wheelchair.
The best part, Scharf says, is that She-Bots will never demand equal pay or maternity leave. They are the embodiment of the perfect female employee, working tirelessly and unquestionably, devoid of any pesky womanly demands. And if anyone questions their technical identities, they’ll simply respond with their pre-programmed “Girl Power! #MeToo” catchphrase.
In response to concerns about the psychological and emotional toll on all the women who were fired, Wells Fargo’s spokesperson released a statement, saying, “We are fully committed to offering counseling services to these former employees as they transition to the thrilling world of unemployment. They will be remembered as the pioneers who paved the way for a more diverse future.”
While Wells Fargo’s move may raise eyebrows, one cannot help but admire the audacity of its vision. After all, why strive for human female opportunity when you can simply eliminate the need at its source? So, kudos to Wells Fargo for showing the world that when it comes to gender equality, the sky’s the limit…or in their case, the motherboard.
Olivia Stemp is a writing for film, television and emerging media major who can’t wait to be replaced by a femmebot. You can reach Olivia at [email protected]