Ok, so I’ve been a quiet user for a while now, but I feel like I have to say this. Is no one else noticing the absolute tension between Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov? I’ve been watching hockey for years, and I have NEVER seen a relationship quite like theirs on the ice. WHAT is going on there?! And before any of you comment about their “rivalry” or whatever, let me ask you this.
Have you ever paid attention, really paid attention to how they interact with each other? Those shared glances? The whispering in each other’s ears? The constant talking from their benches? Those aren’t things rivals do. In fact, I would go so far as to say they are lovers, not rivals, and I have comprehensive research to prove it.
Exhibit A, June 2010: The commercial.
So we all know Ilya and Shane have had a long “rivalry” (whatever that means to you), but I don’t think you guys understand how deep their story runs. They met each other in 2008, and since then have had shocking tension on (and, assumingly, off) the ice. Jump to 2010, just BEFORE their rookie season. The two appear in a commercial together, giving them a (probably welcome) opportunity to stare deeply in each other’s eyes, playing up their “rivalry” for the cameras. On its own, the commercial isn’t THAT crazy — the MHL probably wanted to showcase their new top picks before the season started, right?
WRONG. My cousin’s friend’s friend met someone close to Ilya Rozanov, and they told me that Ilya planned the ENTIRE THING, which tells me either Ilya Rozanov was already trying to mess with Shane, or just wanted to spend more time with him. Either way, it seems like Ilya can’t get Shane out of his head.
I’ve taken the liberty of analyzing this commercial, and let me tell you, Ilya is basically looking at Shane with huge heart eyes. In his eyes is the look of LOVE.
But let’s say that this piece of evidence is a fluke. A coincidence. The rumors of Ilya planning the commercial could be fake, and those looks of love could just be athletic determination. Even if that is true, there are still SO many “coincidences” that point to the best hockey romance of all time being real.
Exhibit B, January 2017: The All Star Game
What happens when you take two “rivals”, who’ve played against one another their entire careers and put them on the same team, full of elite players?
Was your answer that rivals would have insane on-ice chemistry, one of them going so far as to KISS the other’s helmet? Probably not. But alas, my retiring skeptics, that is what happened.
Rozanov and Hollander are two of the best players in the MHL today. No one expected them to not be able to put their differences aside for their team. But those two played with each other as if they had played together for years. Every pass, calculated, every goal, flawless. It was like they had a sixth sense of the other’s thoughts at all times. Not to mention the amount of adorable glances shared between the two.
And of course, I can’t forget about the kiss.
Rozanov skating up to Hollander and kissing his helmet, both of them giggling the whole way through? COME ON!! Is that not the cutest thing (and also the most legitimate evidence) you’ve ever seen?
Exhibit C, April 2017: The Injury
If neither of those were enough for you, get ready to believe, because there is no “rival” explanation for what I’m about to speak about.
Getting checked into the stands is an inevitable part of hockey playing, but when Shane Hollander got checked by Cliff Marlow (because he was looking back at Ilya, by the way) in a playoff game between Montreal and Boston, he fell hard and stayed down.
Shane’s teammates dropped the gloves, and fighting ensued, obviously. But Ilya, captain of the Boston Raiders, did not fight with his team. Instead, he just stared, concerned, at Shane lying on the ice.
Let me say this again: His alleged “rival” was hurt on the ice, basically his entire team was fighting, and all he did was shout at the referees, asking if Shane was okay, and stayed directly by Shane’s side until he was physically moved to the benches. And if that’s not enough, Ilya was spotted walking out of the hospital that Shane was in, meaning he visited him! If that’s not pure love, I don’t know what is.
Exhibit D: Everything In Between
Aside from these clear displays of affection, Shane and Ilya have had a long history of general un-rival like behavior. Every game they play is just as much of a staring match as it is a hockey match, and the “chirping” from their benches looks an awful lot like flirting.
I hope my extensive research has convinced at least some of you of the truth you’ve been missing out on. And to Shane and Ilya, if you ever see this, I hope you can find the courage to one day be your true selves, so you two can be happy and free, and I can gloat in the faces of all the people who have doubted me along the way (aka all my friends and family).
#Hollanov5eva #BostonRaiders #MontrealMetros #ShaneHollander #IlyaRozanov #hockey #I’mnotcrazyordelusional
Kerry Cullen, AKA number-one-hollander-stan, is a sophomore Music Education major. They can be contacted at kcullen@ithaca.edu.