Test your knowledge of presidential Kenergy
“You know, like, once you open that canister, like it all just–it’s very hard to–once you open it, you’re making Cinnabons, you know? And you’re loving it. You are loving making Cinnabons.”
So said Ryan Gosling in an interview with BuzzFeed on how it was difficult to leave his character of Ken behind after filming wrapped on this summer’s blockbuster hit Barbie. I’ve seen a lot of reactions to confusing quotes like this from Gosling, mostly along the lines of “What is he talking about? He makes absolutely no sense.” I love it. Gosling’s peculiar way with words has seemingly endeared him even more to this generation, and not in spite of his curious tangents and bewildering comments, but because of them.
And yet, when United States President Joseph R. Biden rambles and stammers and makes no sense, the same people have a different reaction: “Sleepy Joe, he’s too old, he’s embarrassing…” Why are we as a society not embracing the truth that has been so clearly established before us: that Joe Biden simply found his Kenergy decades ago and has been gloriously living in it ever since?
I will attempt to prove this theory now. Below are nine quotes, some from Ryan Gosling in various interviews about Barbie, and some from Joe Biden. Can you tell who said what? It’s time to play “Gosling or Biden!”
- “It’s like wifi. It’s there, but, do you know how it’s really there? I don’t. I mean–could you explain wifi?”
- “What does it really cost to take a moment to look someone in the eye, to give him a hug, to let her know, I get it. You’re not alone?”
- “You need to work on your pecs.”
- “Dark [sunglasses] are great because they can hide your sadness.”
- “I went on the ride, and I’m still going on it. I don’t want to leave the park. They are kicking me out. ‘The park is closing, sir.’ But I ordered churros, and they are coming, I swear.”
- “This is a big f**king deal.”
- “If you need any help on those pecs, let me know.”
- “Books are important, but I just have book. But if you have more than one, you have books… Books make people think that you have interests.”
- “It’s not what you think it is, unless it is, and then you know what it is and then… But I don’t think that’s what you think it is.”
What is it?
“Wait, what are we talking about?”
*Answers on page 2
Hank Jennings is a sophomore cinema and photography major who is plotting a Gosling/Biden debate for the ages. You can reach Hank at [email protected].