And If They Don’t, Break up with Them Immediately.
For the Couple That’s Been Together for Only 3 Months Yet is Already Thinking About Marriage:
Abstinence
U got insurance?
Ur different
For the Toxic Couple:
Who r u?
Use Deodorant.
I wasn’t listening
3/10
Toxic Bitch
Literally h8 U
Ur ok
Left on read
It’s not U, It’s me
Poison
I kick babies
For the Couple That isn’t Dating:
It’s platonic
One night stand ?
Sugar mama?
For the Chronically Online:
Yippie!!
DTF? /srs
Double it
Alpha male
Hehehe… yup!
Yo mama
What’s ur gamertag
Ur so quirky
Femcel
Not all men!
They Hate Each Other But Pretend Not To:
Laxative
Eat a mint
See a dentist
For Millennials:
Hot mess
Cats > people
Feed me
I hate kids
Applebees?
Divorce?
Dumpster fire
Disney adult
This is a Hidden Mickey
To The Schizophrenic:
U aren’t real
I’m in ur walls
For the Playboy Trying to Get Laid:
Fav Position?
Nice Rack!
U Single?
I ? milfs
Breaking the News:
Tested Positive
I hate dogs
Diabetic
I have mono
I’m on parole
I’m gay
Hailee Daunis is a second-year writing major who is currently in talks with Brach’s. You can reach them at [email protected].
Art by Ruth Ada Ayambem.