He’s Not As Bad As He Seems
You’re probably not reading this letter, since I don’t plan on ever sending it. Even if I tried to send it, I don’t think it would make it to Tinsleville, Utah. You always talked about how much you hated the long shipping times.
This was just an exercise my therapist said I should try, because “Jason, you can’t just block out all your feelings from your last relationship.” I mean, they’re right, but I don’t really want to do this. But I am.
I don’t remember what business you’re running with your new husband, but I hope it’s going well! Was it a bakery? I think you said he did some baking and that’s what “thawed your icy city heart.” I mean, I’m a little hurt. I had asked a couple of times if you wanted to bake together, but you mostly brushed me off for your work. What happened to you?
I’m not upset with you, Paiz. I’m just… I just wish you would have told me if you were having issues with me, or life in general! If you had told me how important it was for us to get to Tinsleville a few weeks before Christmas, I could have tried to set up online meetings to close on the investment for the firm. You just clammed up, and told me nothing. I can’t work with nothing!
I hope Charlie Ray is treating you well? He seemed nice when I met him, had that kind of beard you begged me to grow out. Chiseled as hell. I can tell you, your other choice in a man is…more than acceptable physically.
Ignore that for now?
I’ve seen your NoteBack posts, and you seem to be killing it back in your hometown. I’m happy you seem to be doing better away from the city.
I mean, I’m happy you’re happy, that’s always what I wanted. But, Paiz, you know you’re kind of a bitch, right? I know, it’s harsh, but I don’t really care. I spent overtime at the firm, and you accuse me of fucking some random girl, but you spend a week away from me and you put your tongue down the throat of some fuckhead back home? It’s very pot, kettle of you. You could never make time for me, but you can make time for some random dude? Yeah, I can tell how much I meant to you.
I guess I should talk about myself? Well, it started out of spite, but I’ve been going out more. You might not remember, but you told me when I got into Tinsleville that I “Had no friends, no life, and no wants outside of money.” That I’m a “Sad, heartless man.” I’m sorry about my visit being a surprise, but I wasn’t sure when I was going to finalize all the parts of the deal. I took the first flight I could. If I was as cheap as you claim, I would have just video called you. Sorry, guess I’m just Mr. Coldheart for coming to see you.
…As you might see, you cut me a little deep there.
So, when I got back into the city, I uh, told the firm I was moving to part time. I know. Me, the man who barely called out for being sick, reduced his hours, willingly?
I just think…I think you were a reality check, Paiz. If you could drop your career, and find someone and things that “made you feel alive”, so could I.
I even found someone new. And uh, don’t freak out on me. Or do. I don’t care, at this point.
So, outside of one on one therapy, I found a therapy group for guys whose girlfriends ran off to be with outdoorsy types.I guess there is no truly unique experience.
I, uh, got really close with this other new guy named Alex. He also got dumped near Christmas this year by his girlfriend who went back to her small town. Except, I think he said that his ex ran off with a snow sculpture maker? Anyway, we both hit it off right away. We both figured some things out, and took our time with each other, but it’ll actually be around 2 months of us dating in a few days. I know you weren’t always the biggest fan of “those kinds of people,” so this may hurt you more than me calling you out for your behavior. I know I’ve been oscillating between peaceful and bitchy, but that’s what you were like most of the time, Paiz. Turnabout’s fair play? Either way, have a good life, or something.
Emily Levine is a first-year psychology major who just opened a business selling novelty gingerbread ornaments. You can reach them at [email protected].