Hey Netflix! Great job at casting everyone’s childhood crush to play serial killer Ted Bundy! Bet you didn’t think that would respark people’s obsession with him! I mean I guess I can see the appeal with Bundy, dark hair, dreamy eyes, the charm… sorry sorry I’m falling victim to the Ted Bundy effect, no pun intended. I am here to stop this madness. Here is a list of people who are hotter than Ted Bundy and haven’t, ya know, killed anyone (that I know of).
- This one is self explanatory, I mean have you seen him
- We got Star Wars, we got Moon Knight
- Poe Dameron is a loyal snarky king and his love for BB-8 is heartwarming
- I just want to give Steven Grant a hug and Marc Spector is very sexy
- Perfect for people who don’t like age-appropriate men! (he’s 43!)
- Very hot
- Her family are Trump supporters which isnt amazing, but at least its better than murdering people! Or is it?
- Preferably not as Jeffrey Dahmer
- Here is where I would insert the Tik Tok video of him singing shirtless (this should be any and all evidence needed)
Richard Ramirez AKA the Nightstalker
- Woah wait how did he get here?! Oops!
- Anyways…moving on
- She’s beautiful, she acts, she cooks, shes cute, she’s British and basically perfect
- No further explanation needed
- Also bonus points for being British
- Watching him in Spider Man as a kid did things to me
- Can you tell many of my celeb crushes are Marvel related? My bad!
Sexy Fish from Shark Tale
- She also did things for me as a kid
- I mean her hair, her lips
- Fun fact she is voiced by Angelina Jolie…which just makes sense
- Yes, from Zootopia
- You knew he would be here
- I don’t think he has killed anyone? Fact check?
Johnny Depp…as Willy Wonka
- I want to win a golden ticket to that factory
The Zodiac Killer
- What keeps happening? How did he get here?
- Love a mystery man
- Slut glasses
Lady Dragon from Shrek
- She is gorgeous and showstopping
- Is she a literal dragon? Yes not the point though
Dad from Inside Out
- Do I know his name? Nope! But does the pornstache do it for me? Absolutely
- DILF energy
- Now i’m gonna be honest, I personally do not see the appeal
- This is strictly for my roommate
The Mendez Brothers
- Ok guys come one who keeps doing this? Another serial killer?
- But now that we’re on the topic, why are they so attractive? Why do we keep simping over literal murders?
- Ok no more killers, pinky promise
- Draco? No! Lucius? Yes!
- I want to play with his hair
- Oh wait, he definitely has killed people…
- No comment
Is this my personal simp list? Perhaps! But you are all now subject to my list and hopefully you weirdos can find someone else on this list to swoon over instead of Ted Bundy! Or don’t and continue to glamorize a real life serial killer! You do you!
Allie Richter is a Sophomore Psychology major who loves watching serial killer documentaries for the plot *wink wink*. You can reach them at [email protected].