From bad, to horrendous
1. “You Should be Dancing” by Bee Gees:
2. “Celebration” by Kool and the Gang:
no one should be this happy, chill.
3. “Physical” by Olivia Newton-John:
let’s not get physical
4. “Dancing Queen” by ABBA:
this feels a little like an underage girl (“only seventeen”) is having random men (“anybody could be that guy”) into her…pedophilia?? But more importantly, calling her a hoe since any guy seemingly can be with her.
5. I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor:
There are a number of reasons I think this is outdated and therefore list–worthy. This is a pandemic. A panini, a panoramic, if you will. Not to be a downer, but there is a whole lot of not surviving going on around. So, unless Gloria Gaynor is vaccinated, it’s a stunt to tell people they can survive without the vaccine. Gloria Gaynor is the problem.
6. I’m So Excited by The Pointer Sisters:
This song tells the story of a woman who is excited to lose her virginity and has high expectations for how it should go. I wanna see a follow up song of “wait…that was it?”
7. Get Down On It by Kool and The Gang:
Something tells me he won’t get down on it when you’re done getting down on it…
8. Do Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewert:
“If you want my body and you think I’m sexy/Come on honey tell me so” I just want to know how Rod Stewert would react if whatever poor woman is witnessing this said “I don’t find you sexy”.
9. The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats:
Man tries to get a woman to leave her friends because they are not dancing, and gaslights her into believing they shouldn’t be her friends, “’Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance/Well, they’re no friends of mine.” Sir, who said they were your friends in the first place, they’re hers. Disrespectfully, leave her alone.
Molly Fitzsimons is a second-year integrated marketing communications major who will personally kill disco if it ever comes back. You can reach them at [email protected]