Strange Eating Rituals Destroy Relationships of Students
One morning when I was walking to class across the campus quads, I stumbled upon a girl wrapped in her comforter. I did not find this an unusual sight considering this is college after all, but the girl looked cold and especially ashamed with her current position in life, so I decided to pretend to be an empathetic human being and asked her what was wrong. Turns out the girl in question was kicked out of her room by her roommate over dissimilar eating habits. When I asked what those eating habits were, the girl sat up, threw off her blanket and brought herself within an inch of my face, her under-eye bags staring me down like a waiter after receiving a bad tip, and mouthed one word: “Gluten.”
The girl went into the rooming agreement believing her roommate was only gluten free. She did not specify whether or not she had celiac disease, but the girl did not think she would be gluten-free at college by choice right? That’d be crazy! The preference for eating in dining halls only with gluten-free options was the least of the girl’s worries when she realized that her roommate would eat wheat… but only on Thursdays.
On Thursday our poor bench friend would return to her room to find her roommate sitting cross-legged in the center of the floor carefully cutting her bread into triangle slices to be eaten later that day. On Fridays, the roommate could be found holding up the lines in the dining hall asking all the workers whether or not the fruit served had fallen “naturally” from their trees instead of being unrightfully plucked by farmers. “Fruitarian Fridays” she called it.
The rest of the week she seemed to eat like a somewhat normal 18-year-old girl except whenever she ate during an even hour of the day. Once our dear dorm-less girl was eating a cheeseburger with her roommate (gluten-free buns of course), when her roommate saw the clock strike two while checking her Yik Yak. She immediately spit out her food and took both of their cheeseburgers straight to trash. When asked why, she responded, “I am a vegetarian during the even hours of the day.” No further explanation was given. It only got worse from there.
The roommate would not even eat on Tuesdays, claiming she was fasting on religious grounds (no religion specified), and occasionally only ate Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie and Diet Dr. Pepper under the philosophy of “Treat Yo’ Self.”
The cold weary bench girl explained she could not handle the stress of being around someone who could not go through one meal without preaching about her dietary struggles and would much rather sleep on her bench with all the gluten she could ever want. I can’t say I blame her.
Kelly Twardziak is a freshman communication studies major who is on a diet of kicking ass and takin’ names. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.