You’ll All Be Sorry I’m the groundhog who lives under the Rothschild Place trailer, but I’m also sick of being known as only that. Here’s…
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FeaturedSawdustSour
Scientists Discover a New Home Remedy for Cold Symptoms
by Peter Tkaczyk March 17, 2020Eating a Whole Lemon May be the Only Answer This past week, a study was published by the Ithaca Institute of Scientific Matter stating that…
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ClueSawdust
GameStop Backroom Now Takes Gently Used Organs and Plasma
by Sarah Moon December 20, 2019GameStop Stresses That They Are Not a Substitute for the Black Market The local Ithaca GameStop has announced that in addition to video games and…
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ClueSawdust
Local Athlete Starting to Think Hide-and-Seek Would Be More Fun If They Had Any Friends
by Sarah Moon December 20, 2019Hiding Champion Opens Up About Loneliness I should have realized that spending four hours alone in my wardrobe was a red flag, especially since I…
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ClueSawdust
Samantha Ridley to star as Lead Pipe in High School Production of Clue: The Musical
by Sarah Borsari December 20, 2019“Lead”-ing Lady Gives Thanks to Her Cast and Crew Samantha Ridley is a senior at Wilmington High School, and she is honored to be playing…
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Fred Lives in Fear of What Else the Dog Will Take from Him Dear Mystery Gang, I am writing this letter from the cafe on…
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ClueSawdust
Surprising Controversy Strikes Standards of Medical Education
by Peter Tkaczyk December 20, 2019“Operation” Is No Longer Fun and Games, Experts Say Tonight, trouble brews in the medical community, as an old controversy shoves its way into the…
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It’s Time To Shelve This So-Called “Classic” Recently, Disney announced plans to finance a continuation of the Planet of the Apes movies. However, with our…
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New Theme Park Prospects Are Out of This World Thank you all for joining us today. I am here to present to you the newest…
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White Team vs POC Team It was an outstanding defeat for the People of Color at the 527th Annual Tightrope Competition, where the whites won…