A Guide for Weaklings Teenagers are subject to all sorts of fads and trends. The latest thing these crazy kids are interested in is staring…
Sawdust
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PubertySawdust
Groundbreaking Study on Adolescent Male Homo Sapiens
by Conor Cadigan November 2, 2019Found Field Journals Depict Bizarre Social Behaviors In a strange coincidence with the submission cycle for the Puberty issue, Buzzsaw has come into the possession…
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Transcribed Speech from First Chair Trombonist to School Board Parents, students, and members of the school board, I know the baseball team is here tonight…
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PubertySawdust
New Health Class Lesson Mandates Kids Witness the Death of A Terminally Ill Smoker Over Christmas Break
by Peter Tkaczyk November 2, 2019Cancer Shaming Reaches New High This week, an exciting opportunity is emerging for our community’s young people. Students at Savannah Middle School will be participating…
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PubertySawdust
Buzzsaw Asks Why… We’re Born Hairless and Useless Unlike All The Other Animals
by Isabel Murray November 2, 2019Listen, I’m not here to blame the mothers. Switching to two-legged birth did nothing to make it easier on them. But genuinely, have you ever…
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PubertySawdust
Teachers and Students Agree: Rusty, Unused Gym Class Showers Are A Great Place to Cry
by Sarah Moon November 2, 2019There’s Even A Drain for the Tears Hall monitors at Ithaca High School discovered why a suspicious number of students were lingering past the bell…
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Stores Across the Country Exposed While Consumers Seem Unconcerned Chaos has erupted in high fashion department stores across the country. Once revered fashion labels like…
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A list of the shit we actually care about 1. Chicken tenders from the pub 2. Don from Towers 3. The #ICPopUp 4. Energizer bunny…
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Goodbyes Always Give Me Indigestion To My Prince Charming, Sodexo, We need to talk. You were once the Sodex- to my o, and without you…
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The charmingly outdated business will live on in our hearts I don’t know why, but I’ve been feeling very nostalgic lately. My mind keeps roaming…