They’re excited for the tropical storms too
Carolina Hurricane fans have no problem with 2017 being called the “year of the Hurricane” by the non-sports media.
When asked about the use of the phrase, Carlos Gale of Greenville, South Carolina, responded “2017, in this year of our Lord, better be called the year of the Hurricane. My Hurricanes. Just how it should be every year.” Carlos started pumping up a twenty-foot-tall inflatable Doppler radar to throw on top of his roof to celebrate the current and coming season, while also watching the birthing of the next super storm in the Caribbean on local news. Carlos proceeded to whoop and holler as the precession of dark orange and light red lines marched through the tiny islands dotting the near east of the sea before getting back to doing more pumping.
“I really don’t care what happens there, but my Hurricanes are being hashtag-promoted internationally, and that really makes me happy. Anyway, it’s too hot to play ICE hockey way over there. Is there even any Puerto Ricans in the American National Hockey League? Probably not, and I don’t care.”
Autumn Winns, of Charlotte, North Carolina, made it clear what this connection between the intense Hurricane season and “her boys” means to her. “I have no connection with anything involving these natural hurricanes, so I’m much more interested in how my boys are doing,” Summer told us while cleaning her collection of Stormy the Pig mascot memorabilia with moist Q-tips® and wearing just a pig-snout mask. “And by boys, I mean just all my different Stormies®. I have over 300 pieces in my collection. Little known fact, but Stormy came into existence as a way to honor the 74,685 dead hogs murdered in cold blood by Hurricane Floyd in ‘99.”
Chipper Storm-Surge the II of Fort Myers, Florida was even happier than previous fans we’ve spoken to about the proclamation of 2017 being the year of the Hurricane. Chipper, a lifelong Hurricane fan (born in 1997, like his team), literally just found out that the local minor league hockey team in town, the Everblades, is an affiliate of the Hurricanes. “I’m so happy that I just found this out. Even though I consider myself a super-fan, sometimes I learn things ‘bout my team that hits just so close to home, stuff that I didn’t even know. All I know is I hate those Tampa Bay Lightning, and I guess real lightning too.” Chipper rolled out of a reclining chair laying horizontally in his home’s flooded, opened garage as it thundered outside. “I can’t wait to eventually go see a team, one that’s connected to my main team, play so close to me. I guess I’ll have to wait until the arena stops being used as a hurricane shelter, even though I feel so darn lucky I can one day maybe even see a country music concert or rodeo or monster-truck rally there.” Chipper waved goodbye to us as he waded waist-deep to a motorized dinghy boat idling nearby to take him to the same arena he craves to watch a puck-game. “I can’t wait for this season to start!”
Kirby Wilhelm is a third-year sociology major who usually roots for the Lightning. You can reach them at firstname.lastname@example.org.