Stop Shaming Me and Fix Your Own Stupid Atmosphere Dear Earth, I have been wanting to write this letter for the longest time, but I…
Sawdust
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Innovative Program Will Not Risk Anyone Important Hello everyone! Before you ask, yes, NASA is still relevant and necessary for more than just a logo…
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Our Magazine Has Entered Retrograde Horoscopes. What a concept! From checking Co-Star every morning to Instagram memes unapologetically roasting Scorpios for… well… being Scorpios, astrology…
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SawdustSpace
Buzzsaw Asks Why… We Even Bother Asking If We Live in A Simulation Anymore
by Isabel Murray December 2, 2019Fucking duh, we live in a simulation. You think we live on a little blue sphere heated by a hot sphere spinning around one another…
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A Guide for Weaklings Teenagers are subject to all sorts of fads and trends. The latest thing these crazy kids are interested in is staring…
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PubertySawdust
Groundbreaking Study on Adolescent Male Homo Sapiens
by Conor Cadigan November 2, 2019Found Field Journals Depict Bizarre Social Behaviors In a strange coincidence with the submission cycle for the Puberty issue, Buzzsaw has come into the possession…
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Transcribed Speech from First Chair Trombonist to School Board Parents, students, and members of the school board, I know the baseball team is here tonight…
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PubertySawdust
New Health Class Lesson Mandates Kids Witness the Death of A Terminally Ill Smoker Over Christmas Break
by Peter Tkaczyk November 2, 2019Cancer Shaming Reaches New High This week, an exciting opportunity is emerging for our community’s young people. Students at Savannah Middle School will be participating…
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PubertySawdust
Buzzsaw Asks Why… We’re Born Hairless and Useless Unlike All The Other Animals
by Isabel Murray November 2, 2019Listen, I’m not here to blame the mothers. Switching to two-legged birth did nothing to make it easier on them. But genuinely, have you ever…
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PubertySawdust
Teachers and Students Agree: Rusty, Unused Gym Class Showers Are A Great Place to Cry
by Sarah Moon November 2, 2019There’s Even A Drain for the Tears Hall monitors at Ithaca High School discovered why a suspicious number of students were lingering past the bell…