Kelly arrived at the party on Hudson, a lioness ready to stalk her prey. Appropriately, she wore the shortest leopard-print dress she had in her wardrobe, a revealing one that showed all but the very tops of her legs. She could tell how provocative it was as she strode in, sending men’s eyes agape before they turned away, looking stunned and worried. She took little notice of the sheepish boys, afraid of what a true woman looked like, as she searched diligently for a liquor cabinet to raid. She moved about with confidence despite the fact that her left leg remained unshaved and wooly, providing a stark contrast to her pale body. Her electric razor had run out of batteries after she finished her right leg, but she couldn’t find the charger and decided to move forward with the night anyway, having bummed several shots off her roommate.
She found a handle of Barton’s on the kitchen table and poured a considerable helping into her half-drank bottle of coke. Nothing put Kelly more in the mood than a strong Barton and Coke. She took a sip of her concoction, grimaced and let out a grunt of satisfaction. She was on the hunt now, sipping her drink furiously as she looked for any man to screw her brains out.
She wasn’t usually like this, of course, but she had just broken it off with Billy, her boyfriend/fuck buddy she’d been with for the past six months or so. They were a bit of a celebrity couple really, as Billy led the campus’ dungeons and dragons club while Kelly headed Magic: the Gathering group. But even though she always knew it was never going to work out, she still felt the need for a man immediately on the rebound. She just needed the sheer physical part of being with a man, the ‘hard fucking and nothing else,’ she kept telling her roommate and anyone else who would listen.
She drank quickly, dancing wildly to the music in the middle of the main room, so as to attract a man more easily. Somehow, the dance didn’t work, so she retired to the couch, the room spinning around her head now. Once she settled in, she turned to the man sitting beside her and it was lust at first sight. He was a bit chubby, but gave off a sort of rugged manliness Kelly found refreshing. He sported a long, gnarled ponytail and a mountain-man style beard that she found irresistible. She didn’t know what to say, but before she knew it, her head had collapsed into his lap from her own drunkenness. This was meant to be – not forever, but just for tonight.
The alcohol had made her even more outgoing and sexually aggressive, so she reached up and started stroking his long locks. She moaned with pleasure; the hair felt so oily, seemingly made for her fingers to navigate every last strand.
“Mmm, I love this hair, baby,” she said seductively. “When was the last time you cut it?”
The man took a long swig of Nadie Light, threw the finished can into the corner, swayed uneasily and shrugged. Kelly loved that. She couldn’t take it any longer.
She picked herself up and then, with great effort, pulled the man up onto his feet with her. She led him to the nearest empty bedroom and shut the door behind her, thinking how lucky she was already. She didn’t even care that she didn’t know his name; it was just that kind of night – a night for a wild, anonymous sex romp with a complete stranger.
Once she locked the door, she pressed herself up against him and started kissing him ferociously and angrily, her tongue stuck out as far as she could, licking all parts of his face and gnawing on his cheeks a little bit. The man seemed surprised, but retreated to the bed to lie down. I’ve got him now, Kelly thought.
She lay down next to him and reached down his pants and felt around. She eventually found his flaccid, small penis and started to stroke it. Just then, the man awoke a bit from his slumber, looking perturbed. He gagged once then vomited all over Kelly. In reaction to the sight of the vomit paired with her own drunkenness, Kelly immediately vomited all over him as well. They passed out in wading pools of their own vomit. And there they lay, angelic, like two spoons nestled a foot or so away from each other, for about 45 minutes before the owner of the room walked in and screamed a lot.