Sawdust

War wages between Wegmans and Greenstar shoppers This battle is one to go down in history, a story that will be passed down from generation…

Local resident anticipates the return of students every year Fall is a time of year that many tend to dread in Ithaca. Youngsters on their…

Local juice bar cooking up something sketchy Since approximately 11a.m. on this traumatic Sunday morning, Ithaca Police have been investigating the aftermath of a brunch…

Mother of Ithaca College student not joking about age-old anecdote During a recent trip to Nordstrom Rack over fall break, mother of Ithaca College student…

“Local” restaurant under fire for false claims In a town not far from Ithaca in either mileage or values, outrage has broken out over the…

Sometime between ‘47 Reasons Why Joseph Gordon Levitt is the Perfect Man’ and ‘The Difference Between Freshman Year and Senior Year,’ I told a friend…

To my fellow professional hiders, seekers, lost-and-founders, and fans ranging from ages 5-9:

Recently, I’ve realized something rather significant about myself, something I didn’t feel like I could express before. After doing some major soul searching and life evaluating, I think it’s time that I show everyone my true colors…or, lack thereof.

Last week local gigolo “Magic Mark” Desantos thought he was attending the annual Gigolo Convention, an orgy tradeshow showcasing the who’s who of sex workers and newest sex toys. What Desantos hoped would be a weekend for fellow gigolos and escorts like himself, was actually a 3-day long festival for the large yet tight-knit community of Juggalos in the Midwest (Juggalos being the face-painted, hatchet-wielding, die-hard fans of the horrorcore rap/rock band Insane Clown Posse). The Gathering is notorious for its alligator duels, naked swamp wrestling, raucous concerts and surprise guest appearances by celebrities like Gary Busey, Haylie Duff, Dave Coulier, Andrew Dice Clay and Coolio.

Edwards has been Tomco Circus’ premier lion tamer since 2009. Friends of Edwards eagerly encouraged him to join the circus after several years of sticking his head inside dangerous dark places such as manoles, tree knots and toilets.

Fans are outraged, reporting that they had waited in the rain for tickets to see Mr. Kite perform his signature interpretive play in which he dresses as a walrus and throws strawberries at the audience. While critics have trashed the skit, calling it “no more enjoyable than sniffing an old brown shoe,” Kite has developed quite the cult following in the avant-garde art community.