Claims we must “Purge all thoughts of the life we knew before.” The pandemic has divided people around the world-but mostly in America—to wear a…
Sarah Moon
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FeaturedSawdustSour
Hammond Caught Injecting Orange Juice Into the Veins of Students
by Sarah Moon March 17, 2020Claims It was an Honest Mistake Hammond Health Center was recently found to have administered shots of off-brand orange juice, SunnyD, into students instead of…
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ClueSawdust
GameStop Backroom Now Takes Gently Used Organs and Plasma
by Sarah Moon December 20, 2019GameStop Stresses That They Are Not a Substitute for the Black Market The local Ithaca GameStop has announced that in addition to video games and…
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ClueSawdust
Local Athlete Starting to Think Hide-and-Seek Would Be More Fun If They Had Any Friends
by Sarah Moon December 20, 2019Hiding Champion Opens Up About Loneliness I should have realized that spending four hours alone in my wardrobe was a red flag, especially since I…
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A Guide for Weaklings Teenagers are subject to all sorts of fads and trends. The latest thing these crazy kids are interested in is staring…
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I was the captain of my ship. I promised nothing to no one but the sea, kept my heart in my chest and my chest…
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PubertySawdust
Teachers and Students Agree: Rusty, Unused Gym Class Showers Are A Great Place to Cry
by Sarah Moon November 2, 2019There’s Even A Drain for the Tears Hall monitors at Ithaca High School discovered why a suspicious number of students were lingering past the bell…
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It’s my final year of being a teenager. Once I turn twenty, I expect there will be a lot of “Hey, congrats on beating teen…