When Virtual Becomes Reality By Liz Kloczkowski WARNING: These are the types of games that completely entrance players. These are NOT the games that you…
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Local Roller Derby Expands with Increased Popularity By Jacquie Simone During the day, 37-year-old Sue Dozoretz listens to ambient music as she gently massages customers…
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By Chris Giblin Onion writer Seth Reiss spoke to students about satirical news writing and comedy in general at Emerson Suites Oct. 21. Reiss went…
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The Ritual Of Television By Anne Gould Northgraves For better or worse, television is one of the most enduring cultural touchstones of modern life and…
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…And Tomorrow, And The Next Day And Next Week By Lauren Mateer Deadheads. The Ten Club. Rentheads. One of these things is not like the…
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Why We All Resemble Fishing Lures By Amy Obarski First there’s the anticipation. Should I do it? Should I wait longer? What will my parents…
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By C.R. Willsie There is a doughnut weight to things in my days: Heavier globes come back around after so many years; I find myself…
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By Dylan Emmons Just a Monday night, but the Sideline Bar and Grill was lively. Not jumping by any means—half the tables were empty and…
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He’ll Suck Your Sanity By Catherine Fisher Vampire: a preternatural being, commonly believed to be a reanimated corpse, which is said to suck the blood…
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(And other questions for Furries)
By Keith HadadImagine you are on a hot date with someone you’ve been admiring for quite a while. After the dinner, the excited dancing, the moonlit drive home, they invite you up into their room. “I usually don’t even kiss on a first date,” you may think, but you go along anyway.
Once you’re sitting on the couch, maybe with a drink, they deliver cliché lines like, “I’ll go slip into something more comfortable.” You lean back while they disappear into the bedroom, and images of lingerie or silk boxers form in your mind. “I’m ready…” you hear slyly from the room.
Then the door swings open and instead of a desirable body, there’s a life-sized fox mascot staring at you with its arms open wide.