Issues

Upon entering The Nines on March 23, one was enveloped with a typical Friday night in the Collegetown scene: 20-somethings scattered around the bar, adolescents spread throughout the restaurant area, all awaiting live performances from local artists.

This was the first time I’d ever seen THE LOVE OF MY LIFE in the flesh- as a 10th grader I obviously didn’t have the means to see them live.

Last Wednesday the government made a legislative decision completely out of character when Congress reached a bipartisan agreement to give away free real estate with absolutely no strings attached.

Ithaca College (with the help of REMP) recently installed new, groundbreaking water bottle refill stations on campus and let me say, it’s about fucking time. For too long I’ve had to tilt my water bottle and hold the button to fill my eco-friendly water bottle. Finally, a device that let’s me fill that shit up to the brim.

It’s about time I let you in on a little secret: putting me in the trash doesn’t make me go away. Though it’s pretty obvious once you think about it, we receipts have all of your information tattooed on our bodies.

Leading psychologists have just announced that seemingly innocuous behaviors, such as flipping through old photo albums once a day, could be early stages of Collectingum Uselesscraposis, better known as hoarding.

Last Monday at approximately 10 a.m. the New York Administration for Children and Family Services were surprised to find a furry, disoriented five-year-old digging through the trash outside a school for cookies and singing the alphabet to himself.

Love them or hate them, reality shows are becoming a tent pole of American television. The growing presence of reality programming is what inspired veteran producer, Lance Roan, to develop his revolutionary new show, That’s F***ked Up: Battle for America’s New Obsession. The show will be a competition, but instead of seeing which contestant can stuff the most cockroaches down his or her pants or which prostitute has the nicest singing voice it will be to determine which producer can create the most morally depraved reality show

We live in an era of both unprecedented government spending and a remarkable lack of accountability for what is done with the average American citizen’s tax dollars. While money is continuously shipped overseas to military operations in foreign countries — and sapped from medical and welfare programs — politicians on both sides of the party line say they are diligently working to reduce the country’s national debt.

For something that is so prevalent and dynamic in our culture, the portrayal of marriage and divorce is very generalized. Marriage has often been romanticized into an ideal of two people who are head-over-heels for each other that go to their nearest house of worship, recite their vows and ride off into the sunset in their car with aluminum cans tied to the back. In contrast, divorce is typically depicted as a violent, hateful mess initiated by adultery and ending in emotional scarring for the children who are inevitably caught in the middle.