Should we commit to something or someone in our lives? There are a plethora of articles and thoughts of varying lengths out there which often essentially state something about, “Gen Z’s (Generation Z) aversion to commitment,” often attributing this fear to “dependence on social media” and increased phone usage common in this generation. As the first generation to be born into an increasingly technological world, devices have pervaded many facets of life, as members of Gen Z have grown up.
Before getting too far into this, it is also important to define what exactly it is that commitment means. Merriam-Webster defines commitment as “an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; something pledged; the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled.” However, this limits the change of an expansive definition, that can be different or personal for each individual. For some, commitment may be determination in academics or sports, and not necessarily related to platonic, romantic, or sexual relationships; places where commitment is more traditionally discussed.
Not to propose “it’s always that darn phone!” , but, in a post-lockdown world, many young people seemingly lack social skills, often attributed to the time spent glued to their devices rather than interacting with peers or other humans in general. This is not a scientific article by any means, but various studies have been conducted about the impacts that this distinct absence of social interaction has posed upon young adult development. Given the range of Gen Z, 1997-2012, the youngest of whom are becoming teenagers in 2025, young adult is the term most often used to categorize these individuals.
I personally, am a part of this generation. I believe that many people are scared of commitment simply because it feels like a foreign concept that can manifest in seemingly inaccessible ways for many of my peers. In such a digital age, it is easy to “keep up” with someone without ever actually interacting with them at all, or intentionally checking in with them. This offers a detached, at times, clinical approach to relationships, wherein you can “know” about someone without ever really knowing them.
Other people have different opinions about why Gen Z is scared of commitment. For example, a fellow member of Gen Z said, “I think that excessive sexual activity has been normalized within our generation and that this factor has led to Gen Z having the mindset that commitment is something that is intimidating, or that it’s something that will occur later in life but doesn’t need to occur at this moment (Age 19).” Many people in this generation discard marriage, and a more “traditional” romantic relationship with only one person as something that is “bad” or is only for them further down the line, interestingly clashing with the continuous popularity of “purity culture” in many conservative or religious spaces. Instead, many celebrate “hook-up culture,” as sex positive, although just as many bemoan these practices of minimal connection prior to intimacy. This can leave many feeling discarded, utilized solely for the other’s pleasure before moving on as if nothing had ever happened between them. Moreover, it is important to point out that this type of culture is becoming incredibly pervasive in our society to the point that not only is it normalized and accepted, but it is also celebrated by many.
Furthermore, from my own experiences, the same people who are most likely to turn to a dating app for a hook-up are the same ones who say that “chivalry is dead!” This fits with some of the reasoning for several of my peers who believe that Gen Z is scared of commitment, because we are scared of losing what we have. For example, one person I interviewed said that this fear stems from the way different media warps our perceptions of an actual relationship, and that, “women are expecting the princess treatment more and more nowadays and men are sometimes not willing to give that to them (Age 19).”
Those who are older seem to have similar sentiments, such as “in general there’s many who have analysis-paralysis and they’re continually striving to analyze all of the data, and make a decision. Or maybe they’re so afraid of committing to a course of action that they avoid making any decisions all together (Age 54).” In addition to an over-dependence on technology as a major difference in relationships these days, older adults also point to the growth of AI as a prevalent issue when youth turn to this technology to tell them what is right or wrong, without using their own brains.
Ultimately though, there are people who are reluctant to place the blame entirely on this generation since, “there are more obstacles to decision making today—-many choices, pervasive misinformation that makes it hard to gather reliable data, overall weakening of an objective moral code in society (Age 58).” This gives good reasoning for the anxiety and fear many of us may feel in my opinion, and all this gives a resounding yes from the people that Gen Z is scared of commitment, but the issue goes deeper than the surface.
Meghan Elliott is a Sophomore Writing and World Languages and Cultures double major with a Religious Studies minor, who believes that in some cases, it really always is that darn phone! She can be reached at melliott1@ithaca.edu
??