Pop culture can be commonly understood as a set of beliefs, values, actions, objects, or goods and practices that are popular and transmitted via mass media in society. In similar terms, this means that beliefs about various topics can transcend real-life connections, geographical location, and more, which allows trends and opinions to spread quickly. However, in such a fast-paced culture reliant on technology, the various portrayals found on social media and more can lead to unrealistic expectations for the “normal” person to hold themselves to. While it is the opinion of the author that normal is a societal construct, there is often a generalized understanding of what many categorize as normal, and this is true of expectations when it comes to marriages and weddings.
Most are familiar with the flamboyant, “over-the-top,” glamorized celebrity wedding where there is not a hair out of place and everything comes together perfectly. Or portrayals of marriage in any number of popular movies, TV shows, songs, you name it. However, it is important to remember that most creators and celebrities adopt a persona they attempt to sell to the public, often carefully curating the content that is shared to be relatable but shows an idealized version of their life. These people gain money from content that is posted on various platforms and the sponsorships they accept, which means creators who are being “real” are often few and far between, which can frequently lead to unrealistic and even harmful expectations of how life “should” look or progress. A specific wedding example is the recent bride who went viral for not wearing makeup on her wedding day, which surprisingly caused a fair amount of controversy. Many were proud of her confidence and hyped her up in comments on the original video or in posts of their own. But some felt that your wedding is a day that you have to wear makeup since “everyone else always does,” meaning influencers and more who post wedding content. According to some, since she did not follow the “norm,” she was somehow less beautiful on her special day.
Similarly, there have been several contrasting opinions about marriage in recent years, with an increasing rise of mixed feelings about even getting married in the first place, much less the “proper” way to organize a wedding. What pop culture used to sell was the idea of a huge, drama-filled wedding with glitz and glam, but this is not everyone’s style. An increasing number of individuals would prefer to have a smaller-scale, intentional wedding, thoughtfully put together for a lower cost, featuring those most important to them. Or some couples would even rather elope and skip the wedding altogether, which if portrayed at all, was certainly presented within a negative connotation. Now there is a growing trend towards either doing your own makeup or having friends or family involved to help, rather than paying for a makeup artist. Other similar examples of this trend are friends or family members baking the wedding cake instead of paying to order one, thrifting pieces for the wedding, and DIYing items for the wedding; all of which are cost-saving measures that allow couples to sprinkle personal touches into their wedding as they begin their marriage. Furthermore, there is a growing trend for couples to have GoFundMe’s for a honeymoon, a down payment for a house, or even intentional donations to charities or shelters rather than a wedding registry.
In some content online, the idea that life is suddenly exponentially better, or all your problems suddenly go away or are solved because you get married, is portrayed. This is not true, and many people have reached a general consensus that you should work on yourself before agreeing to get married. This general thought process can be applied to personality, personal thinking, and even general life stability, and more. Lastly, it is important to point out that serious issues or marital problems do not often come out of nowhere as advertised in movies and TV shows for the shock factor. Such problems often build up over time and operate much like a festering wound, until they are either treated or infected beyond the point of repair.
While there are many lies that pop culture tells us as a whole, there is a niche that wedding and marriage lies occupy all on their own. Ultimately, it is important to remember that although scrolling through content from the lives of others can be enjoyable and informative, this does not need to control our own lives and the decisions within. Content may influence or help give suggestions, but at the end of the day, the decision to get married (or not!), and how your wedding should go is a decision you should make between yourself and your spouse-to-be. Do not let something you saw on a piece of metal, plastic, or glass do all the thinking for you.
Meghan is a first-year writing & world languages and cultures double major who is calling out curated realities and saying yes to authenticity. They can be reached at [email protected].