My Real Attempt To Become Ne-Yo’s Top Listener
I want you to think about all of the music artists you listened to in your youth. Were you an early Swiftie? A One Direction fanatic? A secret third thing? Whatever you were, I can guarantee that not one person was a true fan of Ne-Yo, despite his velvety pipes being the voice of a generation. Some of you may not even remember who he is, and that is a true tragedy. You see, I was once like this: blind to the melodic greatness before me, unknowing of Ne-Yo or his songs. But one fateful day, I saw the light.
It was a brisk night in February. I was in Santa Fe, New Mexico, letting Apple Music choose the playlist for the night. Suddenly, I heard a whimsical tune. It was “Never Knew I Needed”, from Disney’s Princess and the Frog soundtrack. I was taken aback. I had heard the song before, but not in the past couple of years. It was different this time, better. I listened closely to the singer’s glorious notes. This musician had a voice for the ages. Immediately I searched for the singer. Lucky for me, he was credited in the song! The wondrous voice was none other than Ne-Yo: a name I had never heard before, yet one that produced hit after hit, banger after banger, and never stopped. After some deep diving (looking up his name on Apple Music), I found that Ne-Yo wrote or collaborated on a lot of the songs I adored. “Give Me Everything (A Pitbull song, but an iconic Ne-Yo melody), “Miss Independent,” “Closer,” were all songs I loved growing up. All Ne-Yo hits. I had struck gold. Where was this glorious voice all my life? Of course, I went to my friends, raving about the talent I just discovered. To my surprise, I was met with confusion. No one I spoke to knew Ne-Yo at all. What a misfortune! I decided then that I would have to single-handedly bring Ne-Yo back to his 2010s glory days. I listened all the time, day and night. Ne-Yo wasn’t just a musician, he was a lifestyle.
When I decided to singlehandedly popularize Ne-Yo, I felt heroic in a way. I was saving people from the sad life of never hearing the song “Mad”, or listening to the album Year of the Gentlemen! Of course, like any hero, I faced challenges: Naysayers, doubters, and my phone battery, but I persisted. There were many people in my life who doubted me. Family members questioned my sanity, friends laughed at my mission. This never brought me down. In fact, it only made me stronger. Their comments and concerns pushed me farther and farther to my goal, until eventually, I got a fateful notification from the app Airbuds: Out of every Airbuds user, I was the #2 listener of Ne-Yo. This was huge. Finally, I had something to show for my neverending devotion to Ne-Yo. I was finally recognized for my valiant mission. But something wasn’t right. I re-read the notification: #2. Second, not first. Frankly, I was confused. Who on earth could possibly listen to more Ne-Yo than I had, besides Ne-Yo himself? I decided that the only option was to go further. In the past, I had played Ne-Yo almost 24/7 simply because I loved listening to him. But now, it was a competition, and I was going to win, whatever it took.
I began to play Ne-Yo more than I had ever done before. I was determined to rise to the top and reign supreme over all Ne-Yo fans. To do so, I had to listen to Ne-Yo non-stop. Any other artists I listened to before were obsolete. Of course, the naysayers never ceased their incessant concerns. They asked stupid questions like “Do you have to play Ne-Yo the entire three-hour drive?” and said unnecessary things like “We’re worried this is getting unhealthy.” Nonsense! I didn’t need them, all I needed was Ne-Yo. I played him as I was going to bed, and as I woke up. I played him while I was saying my final goodbyes to friends before college. I even played him after my senior prom, when the DJ didn’t play a single Ne-Yo hit. Still, I was stuck in the #2 spot. Over time, however, I began to feel bored of Ne-Yo. This could not be happening. Was I liking Ne-Yo… less? It was unthinkable, and yet, I knew. I forced myself to keep going, but the joy, the magic that once was so abundant, was no longer there. What was I doing? I started my journey because of a genuine love for a musician, but now, I had separated myself from my loved ones, and drove myself insane over him! It was time to let Ne-Go. With a sigh, I stopped listening and reintegrated into a Ne-Yo-less society.
About 2 and a half months post-Ne-Yo craze, I have only listened to him a handful of times. I can’t bring myself to stop for good. Despite my obsessive past, I do love Ne-Yo, and I believe that my mission to rise to the top only made my love stronger. That being said, I hope to never attempt to be a music artist’s top listener again. And none of you should either- it is a treacherous, isolating road, and no one should ever walk it.
Although I shouldn’t listen to Ne-Yo, I still believe everyone else should. If you want to travel back in time to the 2000s and 2010s, when everything was brighter and music was better, give him a listen! I promise you won’t regret it.
Kerry Cullen is a first-year screenwriting major who wants to “Give [you] Everything” because you’re “One in a Million.” You can reach Kerry at [email protected].