By Daisy Arriaga
The art of American commercial advertising has taken a new turn. Initially, one would think the producers for most TV ads would focus mainly on actors’ physical appearance, but in fact, good looks alone no longer make the cut. American actors have begun to lack charisma when it comes to selling a product. To put it simply, Americans are tremendously boring. How and why have we come to this? One person: Orbit Woman.
The American product, Orbit Gum, chose a British female by the name of Vanessa Branch to star in their ads. According to the directors and producers, “the American women who auditioned for the role just did not have the pizzazz we were looking for. The all American girl is no longer wanted.”
This single instance has put the entire American acting industry in a state of fear when it comes to receiving acting jobs in advertising. When asked what was wrong with American women Branch responded with brutal honesty.
“Because they aren’t as exciting as I am,” she said. “The supposed norm is dead and international women are better. “
On average, Orbit gum sales increase about 45.7% after the release of each new commercial, according to one marketing sales representative at Wrigley’s. What is so special about international actresses and what do they have that American actors don’t?
“The American girl just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I see them every day and they’re nothing special. You can tell everything about them just by looking at them,” Ithaca resident Matt Holmes convincingly said on the matter.
“They are all annoying, they all looks the same even the men,” Branch said. “Men like British women, they like exotic things.”
The idea of something new seems to be what hits the target audience. Does this mean that Americans are “played out”?
“Not necessarily played out, just used a bit too much. Well yea they’re played out. When I choose Vanessa I chose her not because of her physical appearance but because of how she spoke and the glow she brought to me. The accent just added the icing to the cake so to speak. But I don’t regret hiring her,” Stated Dashon Petrovich, president of the Wrigley company. “When I thought about the American actresses, I thought of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. Bland, boring one hit wonders. Also, I knew that I was going to have a hassle with them because they are very uppity. Americans blah.”