Throw-Away

Daddy says Mommy is dreaming good dreams. She doesn’t sleep at home anymore. Daddy says it’s better that way. That she’s more comfortable in her…

The logistics of gay male sex are supposed to be pretty simple — straightforward, even, if you can forgive the pun. You’ve got two dudes, two dicks, two mouths, and four hands in the mix — it’s very easy to conceptualize what sexual reciprocity looks like.

Imagine: you’re trekking through the woods. There is a foot of snow on the ground and the temperature is barely breaking 18 degrees. Everything in your body is telling you this is crazy. You finally reach your destination: a 60-foot drop over a waterfall into frigid cold water. Shit’s about to get real. You’re about to kayak right over the edge… For the boys in Empire: The Whitewater Story, this is a favorite pastime.

Upon entering The Nines on March 23, one was enveloped with a typical Friday night in the Collegetown scene: 20-somethings scattered around the bar, adolescents spread throughout the restaurant area, all awaiting live performances from local artists.

This was the first time I’d ever seen THE LOVE OF MY LIFE in the flesh- as a 10th grader I obviously didn’t have the means to see them live.

Last Wednesday the government made a legislative decision completely out of character when Congress reached a bipartisan agreement to give away free real estate with absolutely no strings attached.

Ithaca College (with the help of REMP) recently installed new, groundbreaking water bottle refill stations on campus and let me say, it’s about fucking time. For too long I’ve had to tilt my water bottle and hold the button to fill my eco-friendly water bottle. Finally, a device that let’s me fill that shit up to the brim.

It’s about time I let you in on a little secret: putting me in the trash doesn’t make me go away. Though it’s pretty obvious once you think about it, we receipts have all of your information tattooed on our bodies.

Leading psychologists have just announced that seemingly innocuous behaviors, such as flipping through old photo albums once a day, could be early stages of Collectingum Uselesscraposis, better known as hoarding.

Last Monday at approximately 10 a.m. the New York Administration for Children and Family Services were surprised to find a furry, disoriented five-year-old digging through the trash outside a school for cookies and singing the alphabet to himself.