Loveseat perched on bruised shoulders, climbing up a hill
Sweat beads on our brows united by a mission, furniture for us
Hickeys on my waistband line
Backs lay flat on ice-cold stone with fire blazing on our stomachs
Burnt eyelashes, bloodshot eyes
Fleas and folding laundry
Raspberry liquor, Tom and Jerry suicides
Mud all over my face, beaming smiles, split-end hair
I know I am love to you when you know I’m there
Spreadsheets for college classes planning for the future
Newsletters in Budapest, manic idolizing
Loving me was worship, never meet you heroes
None of it makes sense to me, not even when I saw you
Eyes wide in that bedroom where I truly used to know you
Toothbrush on your bathroom sink, Band-Aid in the trash can
Photo booth, Mike and Ikes, long dead bouquets
Who am I when I remember where I came to be
Videos on your phone, exposing side by side, no perspective that was shared except the fact that we were alive
You still sleep right beside me, sometimes, pictures on the wall
When you tried to save me, you were just saving yourself
TJ’s, Patricks, Jacksons, Austins, who are we without them?
Probably better, probably different, probably stunted, probably out there
You know I’m not the enemy, so why are we still fighting?
Stupid lover, stupid cancer, you’ll never let the light in