One Direction’s (1D) fandom of “Directioners” have been hit hard by the recent news of Liam Payne’s sudden death. Many refused to believe the “fake news” at first until it became abundantly clear that news outlets were serious, and Payne’s life had ended when he was just 31 years old. Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, Niall Horan, and Louis Tomlinson released personal statements on their own social media accounts and a joint statement on the One Direction account acknowledging and mourning the news.
For long-time listeners, this tragedy dashed their hopes of an anxiously awaited reunion between all five members since their indefinite hiatus was announced in August 2015, and officially began in January of 2016. For more detailed context, on March 25, 2015 Zayn Malik exited the band permanently during 1D’s On the Road Again tour which began on February 7, 2015. Malik reportedly cited his sheer exhaustion and a desire for a normalized lifestyle as reasons for his departure. The hiatus was announced a few months after, followed by the final album, Made in the A.M. in November, and their last performance as a group on the X Factor’s (UK) 2015 grand finale episode on December 13, 2015.
Despite this hiatus, July 23, the band’s formation anniversary has continued to be acknowledged each year. Moreover, One Direction has not officially disbanded, even though all five members have created their own extensive solo careers. Many directioners have maintained hope in a reunion of all the members with several speculations about perceived clues over the years. The community was greatly affected by the hiatus and formed connections over the sadness. Many are uncertain how to cope with the death and how this affects a reunion in the future. Many speculate a reunion in memory of Liam may be in the works perhaps even as a replacement for a reunion tour already contracted before Payne’s passing.
Many Directioners started as brace-faced young teenagers who took solace in the clever lyrics and silly dance moves the five members brought to the table. As cringy as some people thought they were, 1D was their life. Posters, merch, ringtones, Tumblr aesthetics and more was it for them. Zayn Malik leaving the band and then the announcement of the hiatus seemed to be the end of the world for them, and most remember exactly where they were when they first learned the news. Some older fans even remember taking the day off of work to process their devastation. It was not the end, the members said, but it sure felt like it. What started for many as a seemingly normal day quickly turned to panic, fear, desperation, and some even stated a feeling of loss of who they thought they were. Shock and disbelief at the beginning quickly transitioned into anger and, for many fans, even thoughts of betrayal. Many years down the road, fans have gained a fresher perspective and now attempt to view the situation from Malik’s point of view, applauding him for seeking to protect his own mental health.
Now, those young children are teenagers, those teenagers are young adults, and those young adults are established in career paths. Some have drifted away from the music after healing much of the hurt felt over the hiatus, while others have maintained connections and dreams of a reunited 1D in the future. Regardless of feelings, all were stunned when reports began to be published of Payne’s passing, shortly followed by extremely graphic imagery of the crime scene and, in some cases, the body. Many contemplated Payne’s character in recent years towards previous girlfriends and negative interactions which caused tumult in the fandom. With his death confirmed, no one is sure where to go from here, and how to pick up the pieces. Whether it be in bed scrolling on their phones, the toilet, the dining hall, walking to class, shopping, or any one of nearly infinitesimal possibilities a “normal” is yet again oriented towards sadness, mourning, and divide in the fandom over what this means for One Direction as a band, as people, and as artists.
Some are ruminating on a multitude of different questions such as: do you ever stop being a directioner? What do you do if one of your favorite (either past or present) band members pass and how does one come back from this? Remembrance, heated debates, apologies, acknowledgements, tears, TikTok trends, and more, followed Liam’s death. Personally, I found out over fall break when none of my friends were on campus with me and I was eating dinner alone in the corner of the dining hall. I got a text linking an article and from there, doomscrolled for the next five hours in utter disbelief. In my opinion you can grow up and put down something that brings you comfort. But, I do not think that “childhood hobbies” ever fully leave you and many individuals even pick back up comfort items, never again to abandon them.
Meghan is a first-year exploratory student who continues to be a Directioner. They can be reached at [email protected]