don’t smile at that boy
don’t let him cook you dinner
don’t let him bring you to his room
don’t let him smirk at you
don’t let him touch you
don’t let him lean in
don’t let him kiss you
don’t smile at that boy.
I know these rules now
they keep me safe
and hold back my trust
and remind me not to fall again
so easily.
but then there is you
who is kind
who I want to trust
who I haven’t broken a rule for yet—
who still makes me afraid
who still reminds me of other boys
who still might push
who still might
who might
might.
I’d like to believe
you’re different
but maybe
there is no different
and I’m just losing myself
looking for someone
I don’t have to smile at
for them to love me.