i never even had a prom.
and it wasn’t like a big event or party or
anything
i just figured i’d get dressed up for myself because i’ve been so miserable lately.
it was a golden dress
with puffy mesh sleeves
glitter-splashed stars and a short tutu-like finish.
i ordered it online from one of those designer websites all handmade and overtly expensive
and it was perfect for me.
i waited in silence for days and weeks
until it finally arrived in the mail and i was so
happy
so i rushed up to my room with the dress in hand
like a kid zooming to play with a brand-new toy
stripped down
too unbothered to shut the blinds because i am a goddamned
show runner.
when i tried it on the dress didn’t fit
i ended up tugging and tucking and
taking deep inhales
so my stomach would take it in.
after hours and hours and hours of patience, i forced the dress on.
it suffocated my chest to the point where i couldn’t breathe and i
sobbed
for hours and hours and hours
on end.