Even if the ground were to crumble and I lost everyone, there was something I lived for and was a part of.
I had rivers that carried my blood and an instrument that orchestrated my whole life with a thud.
I swallowed words in silent moments,
And let listening lead the way.
I slipped from one skin,
Only to discover new armor already in place.
I pierced the wind with my cries.
I gripped until I realized
A change would be wise.
I let thunder fill my bones,
I buckled under the unknown.
I decided to try,
Though sometimes I felt too weak,
Each cry a conversation with the sky,
Screaming why? to a being I’ve never met in my life,
Digging heels in,
As if there were a way to slow time,
Letting the present die.
Longing for answers,
But not a future.
Wanting at least a goodbye.
I stopped fighting.
I quit beating on the chest of a life
that wasn’t meant to be mine.
I choked on the present,
I let it get easy,
Swallowing my pride.
I tried to relax into the quiet.
I sent away what I thought had to be
I made peace with blank pages and put my pen to the paper.
I poured out ideas and plans
and left it in divine hands.
Then I waited.
I decided I was tired of sitting and aching.
I got up and did what was best for today and carried patience.