You’ve seen it in movies and heard about it in books, but somehow the oddly specific instance of being stranded on a deserted island has become reality. You aren’t alone however, five fictional characters are stuck on the island with you. And bonus points! You get to choose who those people (or animals) are, so here’s a solid lineup that would (probably) help you make it out of this alive.
Tom Nook
Animal Crossing
This choice may not help you fight a panther or survive a shark attack, but if Animal Crossing: New Horizons has taught us anything, it’s that Thomas Nookington can build a capitalist society from the ground up regardless of location. Somehow Nook will have all the needed materials to build everything from a house to a town hall, and with his streamlined construction process, you’ll go to sleep in a tent, and wake up in a mansion. What Nook lacks in physical strength, his knowledge of commercialism makes up for, and before you know it, people will be coming to you for their vacations.
Steve Harrington
Stranger Things
While you’re probably thinking, “Not Eleven? She literally has superpowers!” I have good reasoning behind my choice. Now, I’m specifically talking about seasons 2 & 3 Steve here; Season 1 Steve is just a jerk. This man has unanimously won mother of the year within the Stranger Things fandom, and for good reasoning. Need someone to help defend you? Someone just crazy enough to risk that long-shot idea? Maybe you just need someone to listen to your mental breakdown, or need a good laugh. Steve has got you. Not only can he be extremely helpful with the defense and heavy lifting aspects of being deserted, but he’d offer some comic relief that would help with the sanity aspect of things. And while not necessarily helpful here, he did work at Scoops Ahoy, a nautical-themed ice cream shop, so there’s that.
Wanda Maximoff
Marvel Cinematic Universe
She created an entire false reality in an emotional outburst–this girl will be extremely helpful in defense. This chaos-magic-wielding witch can not only move things with her mind, but also create force fields, harness energy and cast runes. Wanda will be the main line of defense, keeping the group safe as well as being able to fight against any threats that approach. Plus, there’s a chance that she’ll be able to help with clothing, as in every episode of WandaVision, she was rocking stylish fits, and I mean, she does have magic.
Yoda
Star Wars
Help you he will, and a Jedi he is. He can move heavy objects using the force, and his lightsaber-wielding skills will prove to be quite helpful in hand-to-hand combat. His force sensitivity can help in a variety of ways, and his wide range of knowledge can be useful with basic survival skills, constructing clever plans, and thinking up logical paths of action. I feel like Yoda would either be the one to come up with a plan and get everyone off the island, or get so annoyed that he returns to his hermit way of life, avoiding everyone else.
Moana
Disney’s Moana
She’s headstrong, she’s savvy, and she knows her way around both the land and sea. I feel like Moana would bring a different perspective on strategies, and help boost morale when everyone feels like giving up. Her knowledge of seafaring, nature and animals would help in a variety of ways, and her determination would help to create a can-do group atmosphere. Her thirst for adventure would also make being stuck on an island fun, turning mundane or scary tasks into a group exploration.
While this team may not be the most conventional, each member brings a special set of skills to the table, which together, can make surviving on a deserted island something thrilling instead of petrifying. While there’s still a large chance that a snake will come and try to attack you, or you’ll accidentally eat a poisonous plant, with their combined brains, brawn and drive there’s a higher chance that you’ll leave with your sanity still intact, or at least, make it off the island alive. Or turn it into a vacation resort that challenges places like Cabo, whichever.
Emily Imanishi is a Sophomore Writing for Film, TV and Emerging Media Major who has been in debt to Tom Nook since 2008 and really just wants to go to Starcourt Mall and try Scoops Ahoy ice cream. They can be reached at [email protected].
Art by Adam Dee