I wish I could write this in Barbie pink, but it’s trademarked…how girlboss is that?
Her name is Ms. Barbara Millicent Roberts, though most (fake) fans may know her by the moniker most heavily associated with her global stardom: Barbie. Who is Barbie? Well, it’s hard to say. She’s done just about everything: I’m talking rocket science, modern cinema, actually making glittery orange hair extensions look good. If you don’t know what a girlboss is, look no further than Barbie and the top six reasons she encapsulates everything it means to be one.
Reason 1: Snaps for Capitalism
A successful career is essential to being considered a girlboss. Whether it’s climbing the corporate ladder in a pair of sensible heels, starting an Etsy shop that sells candles with scents like GRL PWR and MENS TEARS or doing something for the greater good in hopes of garnering a punny nickname (looking at you Notorious RBG), a girlboss simply isn’t a girlboss without a profession. So, it comes as no surprise that ultimate girlboss Barbie has over 200 careers on her resume. Though she started out as a fashion designer, Barbie doesn’t just have experience in the world of arts. She has worked in the medical, scientific and even political fields. Move over, Bush! Barbie was even a candidate for President of the United States in the year 2000. Does it get any more girlboss than that?
Reason 2: Fashionista TM
Power suits, party dresses and pumps. Barbie does them all, and she does them well. You can’t think of Barbie without thinking of one of her iconic ‘fits. She isn’t afraid to be bold, rocking crazy colors and patterns. But she also knows when to keep it modest, and isn’t afraid to indulge in a classic Christian Girl Autumn look. And don’t forget accessories. Seriously, it’s super easy to lose those things…
Reason 3: Like and Subscribe!
In more recent years, Barbie has branched out into the world of social media, and what do you know, she’s a natural. Not only does she have a thriving Instagram where she shares aesthetic photos and monetized #ads, but she’s also a YouTuber.
Reason 4: THE BCU
What do Marvel and Barbie have in common? That’s right! Their very own cinematic universes. The Barbie Cinematic Universe includes nearly 40 movies. And you thought Pepper Potts was a girlboss. Films in the BCU canon spread the message that friendship can solve anything, but if you don’t have friends, a comb that magically changes your hairstyle will do. This is empowering to aspiring girlbosses everywhere because it can be lonely at the top, and a unique talking animal just may be your only companion.
Reason 5: Mrs. Monopoly
What’s a girlboss without some Flat Tummy Tea AdSense money in the bank? Barbie sells and she does it well. Not only has she partnered with iconic fashion designers like Yves Saint Laurent and Christion Louboutin, but she also has connections with influencer brand favorites like Sephora and fast-fashion hotspot, Zara.
Reason 6: God, I Wish That Were Me
Is a girlboss truly a girlboss without making others feel like shit about themselves? Barbie has the perfect, truly unattainable (literally, like, her proportions are off) body. She has several thriving careers. She has a steady boyfriend, but it kind of seems like they’re in an open relationship or something (like maybe she’s his beard?). She can make anything look good. Life in plastic…it sure does seem fantastic!
Miriam Schatz is a first-year creative writing major who painted her Barbie dream house black. They can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Art by Art Editor Adam Dee.