Don’t you want him to be happy?
Yeah, of course. But not at the expense of my happiness.
Not when my unhappiness causes them happiness.
It’s not worth it. The price is too high.
Why should I care about his feelings when he doesn’t care about mine?
I don’t hate you.
But it stings that you don’t care–if I do or don’t.
The fact that you thought through your actions,
And intentionally followed through with them anyway.
It wasn’t a mistake.
It was a decision.
It was a conscious choice.
I’ve tried to defend you.
I’ve tried to rationalize your behavior in my head.
I’ve tried to just let this be “normal.”
Lots of people have it worse–I know that.
But still it doesn’t justify the way you’ve treated me.
You’ve had it worse.
You know how it feels.
And yet you’re repeating this dysfunctional pattern.
I wish you the best. I really do.
But not at the expense of my happiness.
We’ll have to carry on in this new “normal.”
I’ve accepted that we can’t change what you’ve already done.
But we can change how the rest of this story unfolds.
It’s been a bumpy road filled with unexpected potholes
But I hope that the damage can be repaired.
I don’t like this version of you, but I know there’s a better one.
I’ve seen glimpses of it over the years.
I’ve never really known you,
But I’d like to.