When I heard that Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B collabed to make a single, to say that I was excited is a severe understatement. I plugged my earbuds in and expected some sweet revolutionary beats. But after listening to “WAP,” I felt like a forlorn kitten swept up in a deluge of disappointment. That’s some wet a$$ pussy alright.
Don’t get your panties twisted up in a sailor’s knot; I’m all up for women feeling sexually empowered. This isn’t an article bashing on Cardi or Meg and calling them crass. In fact, it’s astonishing that they’re getting hate for blasting on the heat. Female hip hop artists rapping about sex isn’t anything new. Sure, it’s been nearly two decades since Khia released “My Neck, My Back,” to say nothing of preceding hits like Salt-N-Pepa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex,” and more contemporary music artists like Doja Cat don’t shy away from singing about getting sexual.
Then again, the song itself isn’t so controversial as much as the way people are reacting to it is. When women are placed in a power position, it intimidates those who fear powerful women. Since Meg and Cardi are both women of color, and therefore primary targets of social and political oppression, turning the tables and seizing the throne further aggravates this unwarranted anger.
So no, this isn’t going to be another article calling this song vulgar and disgraceful, because it’s not. Hell, it’s not even a bad song: ; it’s rather catchy. However, my disappointment stems from the fact that these are two emerging powerhouses who teamed up and ended up making a song that felt lackluster relative to what they had already created solo.
On Cardi’s end, the line “I don’t cook/I don’t clean/But let me tell you how I got this ring” felt like shade thrown at Nicki Minaj’s line “Yes I do the cooking/Yes I do the cleaning” in “Hey Mama.” If you want to diss on another artist, make a separate song. Don’t put the shade into a beat that’s meant to bring the beauty of female sexuality into the limelight. Or better yet, that kind of pettiness needed to die on the heels thrown at a certain 2018 New York Fashion Week. It’s a cattiness that dilutes the power of the song. (That’s some wet ass pussy.)
Meanwhile Meg does retain her usual dominatrix persona with the line “If he ate my ass, he’s a bottom feeder.” However, it remains at just that. It’s a very one-dimensional feel from the Meg we’re normally exposed to. Megan Thee Stallion is iconic because she harnesses her individuality and channels it into her music, but in “WAP” the strength of that message went hoarse. Instead, we just get a few spitting paragraphs about using a guy as a cunnilingus doormat who ponies up cash.
I’ll repeat: “WAP” is not a bad song in any way, shape or form. It just fell flatter than some of the splits people dancing to the song on TikTok have done and leaves more to be desired. Vaginas typically get wet, what’s the big deal about yours being so soaked? You like to ride large cocks, but so do so many other hens in the coop. For the artists involved, I had expected so much more from the both of them, and I was just left dry.
Art by Carolyn Langer.