Words, how I love them
And fear them simultaneously
Reciting forty lines of poetry from memory
In front of the entire class is terrifying
I continuously practiced, reciting the lines of poetry
As I walked to class, in the shower, in front of the mirror
Stanza by stanza, the rhymes becoming familiar
Almost comforting knowing what came next
I anxiously awaited throughout the hour-and-fifteen-minute class,
Craving relief, to be freed from the responsibility of this assignment
I’m falling, barreling towards earth without a parachute,
And then it’s postponed to next class
I stressed myself out unnecessarily, spend all day worrying
About this poetry recitation from memory for no reason
Why is it so consuming?
This fear of public speaking, this fear of public humiliation
My fear of not succeeding is greater than my desire to succeed
Routinely early to class, I sat in my usual seat and waited,
The other girl who was reciting today looked just as nervous
A strange comfort in knowing she was experiencing
The same panic and anxiety
With a reserved confidence, I recited the poem word for word
As if my foot was on the accelerator
I got to the destination safely
And that’s all that matters