My heart is pounding
Thump, thump, thump.
Drops of sweat trickle down my face
tickling my cheek, my chin,
splashing as they hit the floor.
My throat is dry as a desert.
The voices inside my head scream at me
as the devil takes control of my brain.
I hate this life of mine.
I want to cry, drown in my tears
so I don’t have to face these emotions haunting me.
The blade between my fingertips looks so painfully beautiful.
It glistens and gleams as I swirl it around.
You don’t have to do this.
You are better than this.
If only I didn’t feel so alone, so invisible
like a speck in this big, scary world.
The smiling, shiny blade
now cries red tears.
Drip, drip, drip.
For a split second, nothing matters.
No one ever says how good it feels to feel nothing at all.