“I was legit punched in the vagina!”
“Wait, he fisted you? What the fuck?” I said.
“No, no…OK, he punched me in the vagina with his penis.”
I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. I clenched my legs together in pain at just the thought of the image of Matt shoving himself into drunk Marla, not even checking if she was wet and ready to go. Rough.
“No, Jill, it gets worse!”
“Tell them!” My other roommate urged, leaning on our spiral staircase in our apartment.
“OK so we are doing it and I’m just waiting for it to be over, so I ask, ‘Are you going to cum?’ And he was like, ‘I already did.’ So he pulled out of me. We laid there spooning naked for a while, and then I was like, ‘Wait, where’s the condom?’ And he was like, ‘Oh, I threw it out.’ Then Francesca walked in and wanted a threesome because she was horny, but Matt couldn’t get it up, so he left.”
The next day when Marla was taking out her tampon the condom came out with it.
Now, we could look at this drunken hook-up as a jackass guy who left the condom inside of a girl after carelessly entering her without even a thought. Or we could see that this guy is like some people who just don’t have “sexual etiquette.”
Why is sexual etiquette important? Ideally, it will make sex feel better! When we look at Marla’s situation, she did not enjoy the sex because it was painful. Matt should have used foreplay, a lubricant, saliva, lotion – hell, even mayonnaise! Anything to certify a smooth insertion. Or he could have just asked Marla about her preferences. It can be assumed that it may have felt better for Matt too because it would have been easier for him to insert his penis. It would have also cut down on abrasions on both of their sexual organs. Some sort of lubrication could have also lessened Marla’s chances of a yeast infection, which can occur from vaginal injury from too much friction.
The condom that was left in Marla’s vagina was extremely dangerous. She could have gotten a bacterial infection resulting in Toxic Shock Syndrome, which can cause flu-like symptoms, organ failure or coma.
The condom was also loaded with sperm. Although Marla uses birth control, leaving a condom inside of her still risks a chance of pregnancy. She was also unsure if she could use the Morning After Pill. She was unaware that it can be effective after the two-day time frame and because she had used it before she didn’t know if she could use it more than a couple times without causing long-term damage to her body.
How can you practice sexual etiquette in your own life? This is important for those who want a one night stand, penis and vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex, boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, or whatever sexual relationship that you want. You need to understand what gets your partner off while keeping your partner safe. In Marla’s story, if Matt felt like sex was about communication, he may have felt comfortable enough to tell Marla the truth about the condom.
Sexual etiquette matters because most people who are seeking some type of sex want it to be pleasurable. Using your words and kindly/erotically suggesting to your partner to go slower, speed up, lick my nipple, tickle my anal sphincter, is not saying that the other person is doing a bad job. Everyone has different preferences. Even if you have frequent sexual encounters, communicating could make things a little more enjoyable for everyone. If you’re not enjoying it, then why do it?
Note to the reader: Marla confronted Matt about the situation and he felt extremely sorry. He apologized and made sure she was okay. They are still friends.