A satirical look at sports by Chris Giblin
A beaming Rex Ryan gallantly strode off the field in Foxborough Sunday night following the New York Jets’ 28-21 playoff victory over the top-ranked New England Patriots. His eyes twinkled in the stadium lights as he fought back tears of joy while entering the locker room.
“Well, we finally did it. Hard to believe, but we finally defeated the unbeatable Goliath of the NFL,” Coach Ryan said of the Patriots, who have not won a Super Bowl in the past six seasons. “But I think the best part about this win was how we did it: with respect and class. At many times over the past week, it was tempting to respond to all of [New England’s] taunts and disrespect, but I’m glad we refrained and were the better men. Real teams do their talking on the field.”
Ryan added that the Jets’ run, like last year, is turning out to be a “wonderful Cinderella story,” and that he has no doubts that the majority of the U.S. is now rooting for the “Good Guys in Green.”
At the end of the game, valiant Jets linebacker Bart Scott finally laid his soul bare with supreme eloquence in an on-field interview with ESPN reporter Sal Paolantonio, pointing out the high character and strong resolve of the Jets as a team, while also admitting to how giddy he was to continue the Jets’ unprecedented run as they head to Pittsburgh for next week’s game.
“As fantastic as the Patriots were this season, my teammates and I really thought we underplayed the last time we came here to this beautiful stadium,” Scott said with a bright smile on his face, making reference to the Jets’ 45-3 loss at the hands of New England on the evening of December 6. “And so many people talked about how the Patriots have a better defense than us. I don’t mean to be brash, but we Jets have a fine defense too, perhaps even as fine as that of the Patriots.”
Scott had previously refused to provide a counter to Wes Welker’s incendiary comments regarding Coach Ryan’s personal life, saying simply that “[Welker’s comments] were in poor taste and the Jets organization would never stoop to such sophomoric, unsportsmanlike behavior.”
Over the course of the week, Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie had echoed Scott’s sentiment while addressing the media about Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.
“It seemed like he may have been taunting us over the course of the game when he beat us last time,” Cromartie told the Daily News Wednesday. “But that doesn’t phase me and it doesn’t phase this team. If Tom [Brady] wants to do that kind of nonsense, let him do it; he’s one of the best quarterbacks who’ll ever play in the NFL. The New York Jets are above his lowbrow, hackneyed antics though.”
“I’m thrilled to beat the Pats and I’m happy to have another shot at the AFC Championship Game,” Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez added in a press conference after the game. “But I’m also glad to be on a team without douchebags like Wes Welker and Tom Brady. I mean, if people on our team were ever being that douchey and classless, there’s no way the Jets organization would ever tolerate it. That’s just not us.”