First Date Hook-up: Myth or Magic
By Jennifer Levitt
I have suffered through my fair share of stories about hook-ups gone horribly wrong. Dating stories though? Now those are purely pre-historic. With more people choosing hook-ups over long-lasting relationships, does this mean they’re having more fun, or does it just add more pressure?
Nowadays, relationships seem to be all about ambiguity. No one asks, “When should I hook up with him?” Instead, we hear, “We’ve hooked up X amount of times. When will he ask me out?” Many people think you need to hook up before anything can get serious.
It seems that the social stigma against first date hook-ups has changed. It used to be a big no-no to hook up before you felt that the relationship was going somewhere. If the sex ended up being bad, at least you had strong communication to make it better. Now, people are hooking up first and then, if they are lucky, things become more serious. It’s as if that whole getting-to-know-you part of a relationship has become inferior to good sex. Now it’s all about putting what you have on the plate from the get-go.
However common hook-ups might be, I’m not sure most people genuinely enjoy this nonchalant way of dating. By calling it a hook-up, people can hide behind the fact that they are scared it may not go anywhere. It’s a great excuse to tell your friends when you never hear from that person again. But this doesn’t change the reality that you will still be hurt when you don’t get a phone call from that person the next day. Except instead of just a bad date, you have the added intimacy to rehash and piece together where you may have possibly gone wrong.
Now I’m not going old-school by saying we should refrain from sex because it isn’t important in a relationship. We are all questionably mature adults here. What I am saying is that this new-age dating method isn’t taking the pressure off anyone. We used to feel the pressure of choosing the right time to get intimate, and now we just feel pressure to hook up immediately for fear of appearing prude. We used to think the first date hook-up would destine your relationship to failure, but now it seems like a relationship won’t start unless there’s initial intimacy. It’s almost as if there’s more pressure than ever to be good in bed.
So now that hook-ups are the primary means of starting a relationship, have the expectations changed? There’s still lingering anxiety over sexual performance, and for some, the worry that the hook-up may lead to nothing if they are hoping for something more. Why are people choosing to hook up over the traditional dating method? Hopefully, for the moment at least, they’re having more fun!
Jennifer Levitt is a senior journalism major. E-mail her at [email protected].