yiffing

Imagine you are on a hot date with someone you’ve been admiring for quite a while. After the dinner, the excited dancing, the moonlit drive home, they invite you up into their room. “I usually don’t even kiss on a first date,” you may think, but you go along anyway.

Once you’re sitting on the couch, maybe with a drink, they deliver cliché lines like, “I’ll go slip into something more comfortable.” You lean back while they disappear into the bedroom, and images of lingerie or silk boxers form in your mind. “I’m ready…” you hear slyly from the room.

Then the door swings open and instead of a desirable body, there’s a life-sized fox mascot staring at you with its arms open wide.