By Lauren Mateer
In response to an unexpected punishment, 16-year-old Gabby Watson reported Tuesday that her mother had gone way too far in grounding her and her 14-year-old brother Jake from using their cell phones and computers for the rest of the week.
“It’s like, totally unfair,” Gabby said of her mother’s decision. “She’s like Hitler. Now I know how Anne Frank felt.”
Jackie Watson, her mother, explained that the reason behind the punishment was due to Gabby and Jake’s repeated failure to do their chores.
“I think it’s a reasonable request,” she said. “And losing the computer and cell phone until Saturday is a reasonable punishment. I mean, when I got punished at their age, my parents would ground me and make me read encyclopedias in my room until further notice.”
Watson expressed disappointment that her children would compare her to Hitler, though she said this is not the first time Gabby and Jake have equated her to an evil fascist leader. According to her, she has also been referred to as “Mussolini,” the Italian leader who turned his country into a police state, after Gabby was grounded for breaking curfew, as well as “Kim Jong-Il,” North Korea’s dictator who has kept much of North Korea in a slave state, when Jake had to stay home from a party as punishment for talking back.
This is the first time she has been compared to Hitler, who led the Nazi Party in the systematic murder of approximately six million Jews, among other things. The progression of Gabby and Jake’s rationale can be easily attributed to the concept of “Godwin’s Law,” which states that the longer an argument goes on, the more likely it becomes that someone will compare his or her opponent to the Nazis.
Having made the comparison after only 20 minutes of screaming back and forth with their mother, Gabby and Jake performed a relatively quick example of Godwin’s Law.
A corollary to the law states that whichever party makes the Nazi reference automatically loses the fight. When asked about this, Gabby denied that her mother had won the argument.
“She’s still wrong,” she said. “It’s not my fault she’s like an insane fascist. She just hates democracy and fun.”
It is hard to say whether or not Ms. Watson’s punishment choice was justified, but even with the vitriol directed at her, she does not regret her actions.
“Jesus Christ, it’s only five days,” she said. She also found a way to make some peace with her children’s angry words. “At least they show an interest in history,” she added. Jake Watson could not be reached for comment, having run to his room after a temper tantrum. Sources say he was inconsolable after having Internet privileges taken away in the middle of possibly setting a personal record in Mini Putt 2.
Lauren Mateer is a sophomore journalism major who wonders why all moms are totally lame. E-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org.